Ways to ratchet up sexual energy

There are those times every month when I get hot flashes. I’m not talking about those uncomfortable body temperature spikes often attributable to menopause which I, as a sexagenarian, fortunately do not experience. No, in this case I’m referring to feeling downright randy and prone to impromptu episodes of ‘backstroke roulette’. So while my hands were dutifully employed, my mind got to pondering about some of my favorite ways to ratchet up sexual energy during solo and paired trysts.

I often use fantasy during my masturbatory practices as ‘kindling’ to ignite the inner sexual fire that will sustain my eroticism and energy for the time that pleases me. The mind is our foremost erogenous zone, limitless in terms of conjuring the most titillating sexual ambiences. Once my sexual energy is peaking, I then like to get into a ‘sensate focus’ mode where I’m very focused on the flow of sexual energy in the sacral region as well as throughout my body, ideal for ‘edging orgasms’. For some of my longer solo sexercises, I can periodically conjure any sort of erotic fantasy to quickly and effectively rev up my energy to ‘red-lining’ levels…ooohhh, it hurts so good!

Massaging the scrotum also has the effect of upping the flow of sexual energy in the sacral region, especially in the erect, blood-engorged phallus. Yep, massaging the testicles actually increases blood circulation in the genitals, boosts testosterone and sex drive, and improves erection quality. I often keep one hand working my testicles while the other is gallivanting on my erection, a wonderful ‘tag team’ arrangement making for sublime edging.

Of course, there are powerful pelvic thrusts well known to increase the vigor of sexual activity and an effective means to bodily communicate an excited libido. Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson were legendary pelvic provocateurs, the former often caused fits of steamy carnal euphoria among his raging audiences. Even babies as young as 8 to 10 months of age are known to be prolific hipsters whereby they show affection and initiate innate sexual behaviors while clinging and nuzzling to a parent, then thrusting and rotating the pelvis for several seconds.

Like fantasy and scrotal massage, I use pelvic thrusts to leverage more sexual energy and rapidly get to the threshold of spasm, ideal for edging and channeling sexual energy. Betty and Carlin have prolifically counselled about the benefits of Kegel and pelvic floor exercises to enhance sexual function and pleasure. While researching how pelvic thrusts increase sexual energy, I found a Qi Gong perspective that elaborates how pelvic thrusts promote sexual, nervous, and certain organs’ health.

The Benefits

(http://www.acupuncture-and-chinese-medicine.com/pelvic-thrust.html)

  • Stimulates and stretches the nerve fibers in the sacral region, thereby stimulating secretions of sexual essence in testicles, ovaries, prostate, and other sacral glands.
  • Limbers and tones the vertebrae and nerves of the lower spine, which regulate sexual functions.
  • Stimulates kidney and bladder organ energies. Draws blood and energy into the sacrum, thereby enhancing sexual energy.
  • Encourages energy to rise up from the leg channels to the perineum which triggers conversion of sexual essence into sexual energy.

Or if you prefer a more contemporary approach, SpongeBob SquarePants has this advice:
“First go like this, spin around – stop! Double-take three times… one, two, three. Then… pelvic thrust! Woo! Woo! Now it’s time to bring it around town. Bring it around town!”

Sexual satisfaction and pleasure: different bedfellows?

Fabiola, a Bodysex instructor from Mexico posted a wonderful question to Betty and Carlin: Do you consider sexual satisfaction and sexual pleasure to be different constructs, and why?

Querida Fabiola, Thanks for a wonderful inquiry looking at satisfaction and pleasure. One can view satisfaction as meeting or exceeding expectations. For example, I sit down and relax to start an RPM (my acronym for Rejuvenating Power of Masturbation) session which I expect to last a certain time and allow me to edge orgasms while feeling invigorated and euphoric. If I fulfill my expectations, I feel satisfied. And the exercise is highly pleasurable, meaning that my stimulated body produces hormones and sexual energy that register in the pleasure receptors of my brain which my mind interprets as pure delight. Ergo, satisfaction tips more on the cognitive scale while pleasure relies a lot on innate body and mind responses.

Sexual re-creation

Sexual energy is creation in so many amazing forms: Procreation, Recreation, Re-creation. It’s the ultimate creative energy that can be mindfully cultivated to produce loving relationships including love of self.

I am immensely happy that you initiated this Meetup group Physical Consciousness Raising. I can envision incredible energy transformations resulting from this group. I am very proud of you for continuing to expand the RPM journey. 

 

Intimacy before an athletic event

Greetings Courtney(reporter for Bustle Magazine), I’m Dr. William Kolbe, author of “The Rejuvenating Power of Masturbation” (www.therpom.com ). First, let’s come to terms with ‘intimacy’ which I refer to as solo and paired sexual activity. That having been said, let’s also look at intimacy in terms of its process and finale. Solo and paired sex produces marvelous responses in the body: increased heartbeat and respiration, stimulation of the entire nervous system(neuromuscular energy flows throughout the body producing feelings of bliss, well-being, and euphoria), and stimulation of the endocrine system( the stimulated pituitary sends target hormones to the thyroid, adrenals, and sex glands). The pituitary, our master endocrine gland, ‘mandates’ the sex glands to step up production of our sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen, which are vital for the function and integrity of our muscular, skeletal, and cardiovascular systems. Therefore, intimacy before an athletic event can be a performance enhancer; however, there is a caveat. Full body orgasms accompanied by ejaculation(especially for males) is a high energy-consuming event requiring a substantial refractory period to replenish both the lost fluids and the expended energy. However, by edging orgasms, that is repeatedly getting to the threshold of spasm but holding back, one can become invigorated and vitalized capitalizing on stimulated nervous, endocrine, and cardiovascular systems. Incidentally, martial artists can enhance both the force of their punches and their resistance to physical blows by using the latter technique, often mentioned in Qi-gong literature as Wai Dan and Nei Dan.

Solo Tantric Sex

I had the opportunity to interview with a researcher investigating Tantric Sex and want to share some excerpts with you. I am also elated to have recently organized several groups dedicated to bringing together people and engaging in open conversation about the transformative and generative potentials of our sexuality. I’ll keep you posted…

What is tantric sex? Tantra is a sanskrit word meaning ‘an expansion of consciousness’. Tantric sex, solo and paired, involves prolonged sexual excitation with sincere reverence for one’s partner and one’s self leading to heightened states of sensual pleasure and euphoria often culminating in ecstasy and enlightenment. In Tantric sex, the goal is not necessarily the ‘full body orgasm’, but instead, an enhanced nurturing of sexual energy flowing throughout the body which can be accomplished by ‘edging orgasms’- getting to the threshold of full body orgasms but not going beyond. 

Why do you think there’s a rise in tantric sex all of a sudden? People are becoming aware that there is much more to our sexuality than its reproductive and gratification functions. There is now available information spanning ancient Taoist-Hindu-Yoga sexual doctrine and modern medical information that highlights sex’s transformative and generative functions.

Who is tantric sex good for? Tantric sex is good for everyone, of all ages(following full sexual development), of all sexual orientations. Tantric sex has the power to connect people, solo and paired, in a timeless state of euphoria and ecstasy thus creating an enriched state of well-being that always accompanies us. Tantric sex is one of the best exercises available to stimulate our brain, our endocrine system, and our overall nervous system. Of great importance is how Tantric sex stimulates the sex glands to produce our important sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen, responsible for maintaining healthy our memory, bones, muscles, and brains.

How can you get your partner into it? Finding and sharing the appropriate literature with a clear and practical approach to enjoying and appreciating our solo and paired sexuality is an important step. Masturbation with edging orgasms is helpful allowing people to explore their own sexuality, learn orgasmic control, and ultimately become better lovers with themselves and their partners. 

Thanks for the info, Bila

I want to learn more, especially about solo techniques.  With my limited knowledge and practice I have found masturbating to be very valuable to my health and recovery.  For sure it gives me more energy and less pain.  Any day that starts with a half hour or more of masturbating is bound to be a good day.  Even better when I can do it outside.

Specifically, I want to learn more about distributing the energy from my penis to the rest of my body.  Edging feels nice, but it seems to concentrate the energy into the “about to ejaculate” feeling.  Sometimes I can kind of pull the energy into my abdomen or up my spine but not consistently.  What is the tantric method of doing that?

Greetings Rick, First, I would suggest you get a copy of my book(available on my website) which goes into great detail about channeling sexual energy through the coccyx, up the spine, into the head, and through the major chakras which are linked to our 7 major endocrine glands-pituitary, pineal, thyroid, thymus, adrenals, pancreas, and sex glands. In the meantime, here’s the gist:

1-      Stimulate yourself to the point where you feel sexual energy has filled your engorged penis, basically at the edge or threshold of spasm.

2-      Massage/squeeze your right testicle, do repeated sphincter contractions, and pull the sexual energy to the coccyx. Visualize this.

3-      From the coccyx, visualize and feel the energy as you pull it up the spine arriving at your head while still doing sphincter contractions and testicle squeezes. Then, pause for a moment and enjoy the feeling of the sexual energy in your head and throughout your body.

4-      Then go back to stimulating yourself to fill your reservoir with sexual energy. Take your time, enjoy…

5-      Repeat step 1, then for step 2 massage your left testicle, steps 3, 4  are the same.

There are mantra or mental vocalizations that can accompany each of these steps. As you bring the energy down from the head to the chakras there are also mantras to mentally vocalize as you visualize the energy reaching each one of these areas. My advice is to first work with drawing the energy from your genitals and consciously channeling it up to your head. Get comfortable with this and then you might want to explore working with your chakras(although your body naturally does this when sexually stimulated- the pituitary sends target hormones to the thyroid, adrenals, and sex glands).

I feel energized and healed

Dear Dr. Kolbe, What a great read.  Thanks for making it available. I first encountered this topic in my twenties with Mantak Chia’s book. But semen retention was a difficult task back then! Now in my fifties and facing down a very difficult cancer, this process has become much more relevant.  For sure now I have to carefully manage my energy, and I know that if I release it, I’m down for days, and if I preserve it and pull it back into my body I feel energized and healed.  I would bet I’m still alive partly due to this. Very important in your book you point out that sexuality is as important as diet and exercise.  I will take that to heart and be more serious with my practices!  Also, I think your book is unique in promoting solo practice.  All the other literature seems to imply you are unclean if you don’t do this with a partner, which I think would be impractical.  Surely the monks throughout the world and throughout the centuries have masturbated their way to enlightenment.

Experiencing a boost in health and healing

“This is a very interesting topic to me.  I believe my practices so far of long masturbating sessions without ejaculating have boosted my health tremendously.  It feels like I can draw the energy into me and use it for healing.  I have been looking for more resources on the topic, very difficult to find, so I am happy I found your program on the Michael Blum show.”

Love, freedom, and compassion are the antidotes to fear, control, and judgment.

Wow, again I am awestruck with the elegance and heartfelt truthfulness of your comments about things-are-beautiful-if-you-love- them on Betty’s blog. Love, freedom, and compassion are the antidotes to fear, control, and judgment. When one is not afraid to appreciate and love anything that is beautiful within creation, one can truly live in the flow of life. There are so many messages in the culture that expect us to be fearful of not being fearful.  I know, to be afraid of not being afraid, seems ridiculous. In my mind, one of the ultimate signs of a confident man, is to be able to appreciate and acknowledge the beatify of women and men. If I cannot see the beautify of own gender, than how can one think and feel that they have something wonderful to offer to the other gender. Numerous studies have shown that the most homophobic men are the ones who struggle the most with homosexual feelings. On the contrary, men who can confidently admire the physique of another man, are the ones most comfortable in their own skin and have capacity to relate and connect with women and friends. Dr. Kolbe, I admire your forthrightness to adding this post to Betty’s blog. It is further evidence of your confidence and authenticity. I hope you aware that your body is a living tabernacle of the most high. Every part of your body and your being is a living sculpture. Your heart and mind elevate the experiences of humanity is the most important calling you can engage in. Thank you again,  for spreading the  ultimate goodness of life-force energy with full Union of mind, body, and spirit . Living as if all our our souls are  connected  is a very joyful way to live. Please take some extra time to appreciate yourself and your wonderful mission”’

Things are beautiful if you love them

America’s premier advice columnist, Dear Abby, received a letter from a distraught young woman. While going through her fiancée’s iPhone she stumbled upon some gay porn sites. Concerned about her beau’s sexual identity and gravely worried about their upcoming nuptial, she posed Abby with the question whether viewing gay porn classified ‘Mr. Maybe’ as a closet homosexual or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Abby referred her inquiry to Larry Flynt and a psychologist. The creator of Penthouse ruled that the likelihood was great her fiancée did indeed have covert homosexual tendencies. The ‘shrink’ suggested people can fantasize about same sex dalliances but that does not necessarily bear any impact on their sexual orientation. I think both of these responses undeniably carry some truth; nevertheless, they lacked some fundamental perspectives on sex, beauty, and love.

Without getting into the right-to-privacy and homophobic arguments reeking in Ms. Concerned’s letter, I’d first like to share what I learned from a good friend as to what is basic understanding about anyone’s sexuality/sexual orientation-identity. At heart, it is a function of who we love as our significant other, lifelong companion, or spouse. Pretty simple. This works for me. I’ve been married thirty-seven years to a woman I want to be with for eternity. I am eternally grateful to the benevolence of the Universe for putting me on this trail to the discovery of Love. I have come to believe that Love is the greatest source of power, goodwill, transcendence, harmony, healing, well-being, empathy, sexuality…I’m panting out of breath listing Love’s attributes.

Now Beauty. We find beauty in a birdsong, the Golden Mean built into the dimensions of the Parthenon, autumnal foliage, ideal human physiques, joyful smiles, genitalia, breastfeeding mothers…we are hard-wired to be awestruck by the infinite manifestations of aesthetics. This goes beyond our cognitions, even our emotions take some time to catch up to our initial response to first contact with the archetypes of le beau ideal. The allure of beauty opens the doorway to our hearts. Saint Augustine stated, “For love is the beauty of the soul.”

No matter our viewpoint on the pros and cons of porn, among many of its performers are those with gorgeous bodies, living Greek statues of divine proportions that excite our amygdala. Beauty transcends sexual orientation. Beauty should not be stigmatized or charged with exclusivity. Beauty can be enjoyed by everyone. Males should not fear being vilified for admiring muscular, ripped, well-hung studs in any type of sexual enterprise. The same goes for women mesmerized by viewing sexual divas explicitly exercising their sensuality in the company of others or alone.

Since Abby didn’t seek my advice, I’ll recommend the following to Ms. Concerned: whereas your fiancée watches porn, he probably enjoys masturbating. And, since he likes masturbating, there’s a good chance he nurtures a generous portion of self-love. I’m guessing he even likes to look at and admire his own manhood. He might even have a name for him. And there’s nothing wrong with admiring or fantasizing about other people’s beautiful genitalia. On the contrary, your beau is quite lucky to be unscathed by the vitriol of homophobes and dogmatic catechisms. You are fortunate for having the opportunity to let Love clean away the murk of fear and perversion from your soul. Things are beautiful if you love them (Jean Anouilh). Love the cock! Love the vulva!

Victories

“I’m over a month[exercising a la RPM] and feeling wonderful. Things are working wonderfully and I’m starting to see some slow progress at lasting longer. I’ve been doing a zillion kegels, am edging when I consciously masturbate, and the other morning didn’t even push myself over the edge.  All victories.”