The Hand Phallus Dalliance

A devotee of the RPM(Rejuvenating Power of Masturbation) shared with me a most novel perspective about how the hand and phallus interact during autoerotic interludes. We often think as hands as manual laborers toiling tirelessly to satisfy the lustful appetites of our genital regalia with little recompense or reciprocal benefit. These manual artisans handily craft the most sublime ecstatic adventures yet seemingly lack the means to profit from their dexterity and savvy. All the orgasmic bliss gets funded to the cock’s account while the servile hands can do little but await the next summons, or so it appears…

‘Just as the hand pleases the cock, so does the cock please the hand.’ His perspective reverberated profoundly within my preconceived notions of the masturbatory dynamic. I had never considered this complementary relationship whereby giver and taker get subsumed into a mutualistic enterprise of pleasure. But wait, there is compelling evidence to support this notion.

Our fingertips are among the most sensitive parts of the body densely packed with thousands of nerve endings which produce complex patterns of nervous impulses. These convey information about the size, shape, and texture of objects and our ability to identify objects by touch and manipulate them. The nerve endings in our fingertips can perform complex neural computations that were thought to be carried out by the brain according to new research published in the journal Nature Neuroscience.

Sensory neurons in the fingertips perform mathematical calculations that provide us with geometric information about objects we touch. This exciting discovery debunks the understanding that such computations are reserved for neurons in the brain whereby our touch experiences have already been processed by neurons in the fingertips before they reach the brain for processing.

The significance of this ‘brain power’ in fingertips has transformed the sensate focus of my RPM practices. During a hand phallus dalliance, I often shift focus between the pleasures registered between my legs and that emanating from my hands. I enlist my genitalia to titillate my hands then revert back to my hands to return the favor. I now consider my hands as part of my erogeneity and entitled to their own caresses and euphoria. I value these hands and fingers as honored artisans capable of not only replenishing my mind, body, and spirit, but also as colleagues deriving pleasure from their own creative encounters.

Ways to keep sex hot in a marriage

I responded to a reporter’s inquiry about ways to keep sex hot in a marriage…a chance to advocate for exploring solo sexuality as a meaningful complement/supplement to paired sex.

I’m sure you will get responses to your inquiry that include fantasy, sex toys, exploring new positions, and even other types of dalliances. I would like to venture the following: that solo sex is a vital and gratifying aspect of our sexuality that should be a part of any relationship and it can enhance the enjoyment of paired sex for many reasons.

1) Solo sex allows us to explore our own sexuality, our erogenous zones, what turns us on, like increasing our ‘sexual vocabulary’ which can help us sexually communicate better with our partner.

2) Solo sex keeps our sex organs and glands in optimal function during any interim between paired sex. In other words, solo sex can maintain our libido, our sexual desire, which enhances the enjoyment of paired sex.

3) Solo sex is the opportunity to love ourselves for who we are, to appreciate and accept our bodies, to affirm our attractiveness, and the confidence to openly share ourselves with our mates.

Husband practices semen retention, should wife seek other source of semen?

I received a most interesting question from a man who steadfastly practices semen retention and was debating with his wife(he is open to the possibility) of having his wife source semen from another younger male. The answer below helped them resolve the issue by exploring ‘edging orgasms’ in lieu of always seeking the more explosive full body orgasms.

Semen is made in the body through a process of filtering nutrients out of our bloodstream and storing this as a fluid in the prostate gland(males also have the seminal vesicles and the Cowper’s gland), host to a large array of vital nutrients shared by the other endocrines and the nervous system.  Many women have a gland homologous to the male prostate; however, there is great variance in its appearance anatomically and chemical contents. There is also variability in female ‘ejacutation’, where a sexual fluid is involved similar to male semen in composition(see assay below) but distinct from vaginal lubricating fluid and urine.

What I am getting at is this: semen has a function in our lives that goes beyond procreation and recreation. Semen is a fluid produced by a vital member of our endocrine system- the sex glands. Ejaculation and ejacutation, although being highly pleasurable, have their corresponding deficit-creating effects on the other endocrines and the brain. Sex has the potential, better than any other form of exercise or super multivitamin, to fortify and rejuvenate the body and mind when we understand the inner workings of our bodies and avoid adopting conventional methods of sexual practice and gratification. 

My premise is that males and females have repositories for semen, and, this semen is beneficially linked to  endocrine function, brain/nervous system function, and cardiovascular health. Add to this that male and female sex glands produce testosterone and estrogen, then we have fairly sound reasons for males and females to ‘edge orgasms’ and reap the benefits of absorbing these vital nutrients.

I would suggest your wife need not seek an outside source of semen. Instead your solo and paired sexual activity should provide ample opportunity for restoration, rejuvenation, as well as  many fringe benefits.

Female semen: urea, creatinine, prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP), prostate specific antigen (PSA), glucose and fructose, amino acids, proteins, enzyme PDE5(sexual arousal) and MMP involved in bone marrow function and cardiovascular health



I received this question and I thought of the readership of the RPM Forum(now at 165!).

“Are there benefits from not masturbating and abstaining from sex like masturbating without ejaculating?”
Thank you for your question. Abstaining from sex and masturbating without ejaculating are quite different. In the former, there is an absence of solo or paired sexual stimulation or a period of not exercising the brain-genitalia connection resulting in the loss of production of sexual energy, the endocrine response associated with sexual exercise, and the related psychological and physiological benefits. Masturbating without ejaculating is sexual continence. It has all the above mentioned benefits of sexual activity while retaining and absorbing semen: a veritable innate pharmacy constantly providing a most potent and pure supply of sugars, vitamins, minerals, trace elements, aminoacids, enzymes, and hormones direct into the bloodstream, reaching all parts of the body, but especially the brain, whose diet requires many ingredients shared by semen. 

On February 16, 2018 at 9:15 AM Charles Perry wrote:

Hi Dr. Kolb,

Are there benefits from not masturbating and abstaining from sex like masturbating without ejaculating?



sexual exhaustion is not a wacko tea party conspiracy

OK, I get it. When it comes to sex, clergy and tea party wackos are not reliable sources of expert advice; nevertheless, the issue of sexual exhaustion deserves serious, open-minded consideration. If you don’t invest much credence either in millennia of Taoist and Hindu transformational sexual doctrine, maybe some modern medical perspectives are worthwhile considering lest we fall into the abyss of ignorance-“Those that laugh at what they don’t know are on the road to becoming idiots.”, words of Victor Hugo.

Sexual exhaustion is often considered as a problem with over-ejaculation in men.  But engaging in too much sex or masturbation can also harm women. Much the same way sexual exhaustion can affect men it can also affect women. Exhaustion can impair our mental faculties as well as put a damper on our relationships while slowing our physical responsiveness, making us sluggish and weak. 

Excessive sex or masturbation can trigger a chronic elevation of prolactin and dopamine-norepinephrine/epinephrine conversion leading to pituitary-ovarian functional disorders and sexual exhaustion symptoms.  The side effects of female sexual exhaustion, like those of drug abuse, can induce inflammation of arteries, constricting blood flow to the brain.  Excessive sex or orgasm can exhaust the ovarian function and induce menstrual disorders as well as discharge the brain’s supply of acetylcholine, dopamine, serotonin, and GABA. This results in nervous, liver, kidney, cardiovascular, and endocrine disorders.

The neuro-endocrine system, if over-discharged, won’t recharge by itself. Inflammatory byproducts will then damage or burn out numerous nervous cells, leading to some of the symptoms described. This state usually affects one’s hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal-testicular axis. The production of vital androgen hormones, such as testosterone, DHEA, and DHT, plus the pituitary oxytocin become too low to support neuro-immune function. The inflammatory hormones – cortisol, prolactin, epinephrine, and norepinephrine, being excessive, will disable one’s pituitary-testicular-ovarian axis for a few days, weeks, or in the severe cases, even months. This will lengthen the refraction time, leading to a chronic sexual exhaustion and strange inflammations.

Some sexual exhaustion symptoms include:

Memory loss – in the form of attention deficiency or/and losing memory, and mind concentration. This is caused primarily by a deficiency of the neurotransmitters serotonin and acetylcholine, responsible for  memory protection.

Headaches or migraines – due to excessive release of the inflammatory hormone prostaglandin E-2, accompanied with excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversions in the brain (as a result of the exhausted the acetylcholine, serotonin and GABA nervous systems).

Tiredness and exhaustion – low levels of dopamine, and excessive prolactin to shut down the testicular function, leading to failure in the parasympathetic nervous recharging system.

Weakness in the muscles – due to deficiency of testosterone, DHEA, and DHT.

Parkinson’s symptoms (muscle tremors or twitching) – through acetylcholine and dopamine deficiency.

Low libido – through locked hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal-testicular axis, high levels of prolactin, and deficiency of acetylcholine, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

Depression and mood swings – due to unstable levels of all the vital neurotransmitters – acetylcholine, dopamine, serotonin, and GABA.

Sex and hair loss?

I received an interesting question regarding sex-edging orgasms and accelerated hair loss. Here is some info from the web:

There is a direct correlation between sexual activity and testosterone levels in the blood. However, the DHT and 5-alpha reductase levels have been shown to impact hair loss. 

1) A Hidden Factor in Elevation of 5-alpha Reductase Levels

It’s not a high serum DHT that contributes to hair loss–no! It is an elevated 5-alpha reductase level. In fact just to be clear, research shows that a high blood level of DHT is inversely correlated to balding. However, a high 5-alpha reductase level can increase DHT in local tissues, and that appears to be the factor in hair loss. Getting that important discussion out of the way, there are many hidden reasons why the enzyme 5-alpha reductase increases. Sometimes it is a result of medication, other times it could be thyroid problem and/or an endocrine system problem.

2) Hair Loss & Low Testosterone | LIVESTRONG.COM

Hair loss may occur through several mechanisms, however the only form related to testosterone levels is known as androgenetic alopecia. A hereditary disorder characterized by thinning of scalp hair, androgenetic alopecia occurs in both men and women through an androgen mediated mechanism. While this syndrome is technically a low testosterone state, in fact the body is experiencing high androgen levels due to the mechanism of dihydrotestosterone (DHT), a metabolite of testosterone with potent androgenic effects

Hair Physiology

In a healthy hair follicle, circulating DHT binds androgen receptors located on hair follicles. DHT has a potent effect on these receptors, directly inhibiting the growth of the hair follicle. This occurs in normal individuals, allowing accurate control of the hair growth cycle.

Hair Loss Pathogenesis

Circulating testosterone is converted peripherally to DHT by the enzyme 5-alpha reductase. Patients with elevated 5-alpha reductase levels may develop a high DHT/low testosterone state. Pathologic hair loss occurs when the individual’s DHT reaches levels at which the inhibitory effects outweigh the stimulatory forces on the hair follicle. Therefore, while low testosterone is associated with hair loss, the pathologic mechanism occurs via the elevated DHT levels. This results in progressively shorter, less pigmented hair production, which ultimately presents as hair thinning and loss. (

3) Does oragasm or having sex or sexual activity increase DHT which cause hairloss? Doctor Answers, Tips

There is no correlation between sexual activity and DHT levels, so you can certainly feel free to have a very active sex life and any degree of male pattern hair loss that you will experience is… SHOW MORE genetically determined and other than the addition of Finasteride, topical nutrient serum shampoos, low-level light therapy, plasma rich protein and the amount of recession and thinning that you experience will be genetically

Ways to ratchet up sexual energy

There are those times every month when I get hot flashes. I’m not talking about those uncomfortable body temperature spikes often attributable to menopause which I, as a sexagenarian, fortunately do not experience. No, in this case I’m referring to feeling downright randy and prone to impromptu episodes of ‘backstroke roulette’. So while my hands were dutifully employed, my mind got to pondering about some of my favorite ways to ratchet up sexual energy during solo and paired trysts.

I often use fantasy during my masturbatory practices as ‘kindling’ to ignite the inner sexual fire that will sustain my eroticism and energy for the time that pleases me. The mind is our foremost erogenous zone, limitless in terms of conjuring the most titillating sexual ambiences. Once my sexual energy is peaking, I then like to get into a ‘sensate focus’ mode where I’m very focused on the flow of sexual energy in the sacral region as well as throughout my body, ideal for ‘edging orgasms’. For some of my longer solo sexercises, I can periodically conjure any sort of erotic fantasy to quickly and effectively rev up my energy to ‘red-lining’ levels…ooohhh, it hurts so good!

Massaging the scrotum also has the effect of upping the flow of sexual energy in the sacral region, especially in the erect, blood-engorged phallus. Yep, massaging the testicles actually increases blood circulation in the genitals, boosts testosterone and sex drive, and improves erection quality. I often keep one hand working my testicles while the other is gallivanting on my erection, a wonderful ‘tag team’ arrangement making for sublime edging.

Of course, there are powerful pelvic thrusts well known to increase the vigor of sexual activity and an effective means to bodily communicate an excited libido. Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson were legendary pelvic provocateurs, the former often caused fits of steamy carnal euphoria among his raging audiences. Even babies as young as 8 to 10 months of age are known to be prolific hipsters whereby they show affection and initiate innate sexual behaviors while clinging and nuzzling to a parent, then thrusting and rotating the pelvis for several seconds.

Like fantasy and scrotal massage, I use pelvic thrusts to leverage more sexual energy and rapidly get to the threshold of spasm, ideal for edging and channeling sexual energy. Betty and Carlin have prolifically counselled about the benefits of Kegel and pelvic floor exercises to enhance sexual function and pleasure. While researching how pelvic thrusts increase sexual energy, I found a Qi Gong perspective that elaborates how pelvic thrusts promote sexual, nervous, and certain organs’ health.

The Benefits


  • Stimulates and stretches the nerve fibers in the sacral region, thereby stimulating secretions of sexual essence in testicles, ovaries, prostate, and other sacral glands.
  • Limbers and tones the vertebrae and nerves of the lower spine, which regulate sexual functions.
  • Stimulates kidney and bladder organ energies. Draws blood and energy into the sacrum, thereby enhancing sexual energy.
  • Encourages energy to rise up from the leg channels to the perineum which triggers conversion of sexual essence into sexual energy.

Or if you prefer a more contemporary approach, SpongeBob SquarePants has this advice:
“First go like this, spin around – stop! Double-take three times… one, two, three. Then… pelvic thrust! Woo! Woo! Now it’s time to bring it around town. Bring it around town!”

Sexual satisfaction and pleasure: different bedfellows?

Fabiola, a Bodysex instructor from Mexico posted a wonderful question to Betty and Carlin: Do you consider sexual satisfaction and sexual pleasure to be different constructs, and why?

Querida Fabiola, Thanks for a wonderful inquiry looking at satisfaction and pleasure. One can view satisfaction as meeting or exceeding expectations. For example, I sit down and relax to start an RPM (my acronym for Rejuvenating Power of Masturbation) session which I expect to last a certain time and allow me to edge orgasms while feeling invigorated and euphoric. If I fulfill my expectations, I feel satisfied. And the exercise is highly pleasurable, meaning that my stimulated body produces hormones and sexual energy that register in the pleasure receptors of my brain which my mind interprets as pure delight. Ergo, satisfaction tips more on the cognitive scale while pleasure relies a lot on innate body and mind responses.

Sexual re-creation

Sexual energy is creation in so many amazing forms: Procreation, Recreation, Re-creation. It’s the ultimate creative energy that can be mindfully cultivated to produce loving relationships including love of self.

I am immensely happy that you initiated this Meetup group Physical Consciousness Raising. I can envision incredible energy transformations resulting from this group. I am very proud of you for continuing to expand the RPM journey. 


Intimacy before an athletic event

Greetings Courtney(reporter for Bustle Magazine), I’m Dr. William Kolbe, author of “The Rejuvenating Power of Masturbation” ( ). First, let’s come to terms with ‘intimacy’ which I refer to as solo and paired sexual activity. That having been said, let’s also look at intimacy in terms of its process and finale. Solo and paired sex produces marvelous responses in the body: increased heartbeat and respiration, stimulation of the entire nervous system(neuromuscular energy flows throughout the body producing feelings of bliss, well-being, and euphoria), and stimulation of the endocrine system( the stimulated pituitary sends target hormones to the thyroid, adrenals, and sex glands). The pituitary, our master endocrine gland, ‘mandates’ the sex glands to step up production of our sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen, which are vital for the function and integrity of our muscular, skeletal, and cardiovascular systems. Therefore, intimacy before an athletic event can be a performance enhancer; however, there is a caveat. Full body orgasms accompanied by ejaculation(especially for males) is a high energy-consuming event requiring a substantial refractory period to replenish both the lost fluids and the expended energy. However, by edging orgasms, that is repeatedly getting to the threshold of spasm but holding back, one can become invigorated and vitalized capitalizing on stimulated nervous, endocrine, and cardiovascular systems. Incidentally, martial artists can enhance both the force of their punches and their resistance to physical blows by using the latter technique, often mentioned in Qi-gong literature as Wai Dan and Nei Dan.